This question came up last week. I even asked out aloud - but the invitation to the discussion was drowned out by someone's personal concerns with their life. In her defense, she was going through a hard time.
What is identity? How deep does identity go? Does it go beyond our awareness or just until the edge of it? Can our identities be made of what we don't know of ourselves?
(This is a rather complex and philosophical question, but I want to give it a shot.)
Perhaps it is the boundary that our ego draws against other people's egos. Perhaps it is all we are and all we are not, within a shifting, messy outline. It contains what we know surely of ourselves and what we are in doubt with. It also contains the blind spots we have that we are unaware of. Identity is the boat that is sailing on our existential sense of consciousness. It includes what you are denying, because that denial is part of what exists for you - even if you might not be consciously aware of it.
So what is identity not?
Identity is not achievement or performance, though it can be tied to it. Identity is not outcome, though it most definitely influences how you react to it. It is not black nor is it white - it has the dimensions of space. Identity is not habit, it is what comes behind those habits - sometimes chosen consciously but many times stemming from a place we don't even know we have. Identity is not our behaviors, though it shapes our behavior. Identity can never be within any neat lines of self-concept. The self-concept is the aware part of our identity. Identity is the core of who we are - that draws a line that is the ego itself. Everything we experience is happening within the space of our identity. How we experience life is through the prism of our individual identities.
It is not touchable nor is it strategically alterable. It is like the water in a pond, that ripples when touched. It is where the seeds of our realizations are planted and bloom. Sometimes they are trees that will stay for years until we 'die', and sometimes they are just seasonal flowering plants. It is also the place where the broken glass of our notions fall into sharp, jagged pieces - when something we had internalized shatters into a place of cognitive dissonance.
Did you ever meet the cleaning ladies who comes to mop the pieces away? There are a few of them you might know; one of them is called Acceptance and another called Forgiveness. Forgiveness' twin sister is also a cleaning lady and her name is Grace. The head of these workers is Healing. She's the one who runs the cleaning department.
How can we become more in tune with our identities?
Through being painfully aware of everything, as much as possible. This is difficult - but it's the only way to start getting acquainted with it. It takes a while to come into the inner circle where identity starts conversing with you. It will not be your friend, but with practice it will become a wordless voice you will be able to hear. Communicating with your identity is like learning a new language, the dialect of silence.
Why should we even care?
Because everything related to you is related to identity. Everything. And every person cares about themselves. And if you are the sort of person who likes to live life to the fullest - you will need to knock on identity's door. It holds the key to your experience and, actually, your entire existence.
That's why.
What is identity? How deep does identity go? Does it go beyond our awareness or just until the edge of it? Can our identities be made of what we don't know of ourselves?
Perhaps it is the boundary that our ego draws against other people's egos. Perhaps it is all we are and all we are not, within a shifting, messy outline. It contains what we know surely of ourselves and what we are in doubt with. It also contains the blind spots we have that we are unaware of. Identity is the boat that is sailing on our existential sense of consciousness. It includes what you are denying, because that denial is part of what exists for you - even if you might not be consciously aware of it.
So what is identity not?
Identity is not achievement or performance, though it can be tied to it. Identity is not outcome, though it most definitely influences how you react to it. It is not black nor is it white - it has the dimensions of space. Identity is not habit, it is what comes behind those habits - sometimes chosen consciously but many times stemming from a place we don't even know we have. Identity is not our behaviors, though it shapes our behavior. Identity can never be within any neat lines of self-concept. The self-concept is the aware part of our identity. Identity is the core of who we are - that draws a line that is the ego itself. Everything we experience is happening within the space of our identity. How we experience life is through the prism of our individual identities.
It is not touchable nor is it strategically alterable. It is like the water in a pond, that ripples when touched. It is where the seeds of our realizations are planted and bloom. Sometimes they are trees that will stay for years until we 'die', and sometimes they are just seasonal flowering plants. It is also the place where the broken glass of our notions fall into sharp, jagged pieces - when something we had internalized shatters into a place of cognitive dissonance.
Did you ever meet the cleaning ladies who comes to mop the pieces away? There are a few of them you might know; one of them is called Acceptance and another called Forgiveness. Forgiveness' twin sister is also a cleaning lady and her name is Grace. The head of these workers is Healing. She's the one who runs the cleaning department.
How can we become more in tune with our identities?
Through being painfully aware of everything, as much as possible. This is difficult - but it's the only way to start getting acquainted with it. It takes a while to come into the inner circle where identity starts conversing with you. It will not be your friend, but with practice it will become a wordless voice you will be able to hear. Communicating with your identity is like learning a new language, the dialect of silence.
Why should we even care?
Because everything related to you is related to identity. Everything. And every person cares about themselves. And if you are the sort of person who likes to live life to the fullest - you will need to knock on identity's door. It holds the key to your experience and, actually, your entire existence.
That's why.
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